It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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