Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
