he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
