Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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