We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
