he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
