My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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