Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
