Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
