i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
