well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
