I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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