What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
