Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
