what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
