I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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