Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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