Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
