absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You don't make any sense
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