Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
