you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
