You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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