Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
