It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm passing your future prison.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
