Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
