i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
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her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
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I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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