why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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