I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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