YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Randomize
