don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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