how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
