How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
