I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
