am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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