I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
