We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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