Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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