I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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