what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
