I skipped work to stalk him.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
