Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
