Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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