I could make wine with my vomit
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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