you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
