sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
