i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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