Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
