If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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