Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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