I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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