i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
