Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
