Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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