I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
