can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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