Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
