he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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