Got a toothbrush?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
