wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
