haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
