So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
